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1.
This Place 03:52
I thought I had fallen down But I was mistaken But we all make mistakes Sooner or later I found this place It’s got to be real, it’s got to be fake I made my home in this place It’s got to be real, it’s got to save face, oh I am just a man, just like we all are Unless you’re not one I’m not saying that it makes you any better But it’s not impossible I found this place It’s got to be real, it’s got to be fake I made my home in this place It’s got to be real, it’s got to save face I‘ve been here before and I won’t be knocked down And I won’t be hurt, and I won’t be around You’ve got this insane way of seeing everything And I won’t be hurt, no I won’t be listening, oh I won’t be oppressed by the masses I won’t be that palatable No I won’t be that kind of bull I think I’ll be invisible I found this place It’s got to be real, it’s got to be fake I made my home in this place It’s got to be real, it’s got to save face I‘ve been here before and I won’t be knocked down And I won’t be hurt, and I won’t be around You’ve got this insane way of seeing everything And I won’t be hurt, no I won’t be listening Oh
2.
Like Leather 03:49
So you try to tell me that you’re not afraid But every time I’m close your turn your head away I think that you’re fantastic, love like elastic But you can’t betray what you feel with what you say Oh you chew me up like leather (leather) Leaving me so soft and weak On the floor and restless, ‘fraid I must confess this Say just what you want, you shake it and you flaunt it How can I commit to every word you say I’m frothing at the bit, abuse me, I’m your slave Oh you chew me up like leather (leather) Leaving me so soft and weak I want to understand the weather (weather) between your ears, so I Can get between your knees You polarize my eyes with lick-me-luscious thighs Just one look and then, snap! I fall into your trap You grab me by the hair and shove me down below I’m shaking like a freak, twitching to and fro Oh you chew me up like leather (leather) Leaving me so soft and weak I want to understand the weather (weather) between your ears, so I Can get between your knees, oh oh oh oh I say now, baby, please, I’m crumbling at the knees You push me on the floor and go right back for more You leave nothing to waste, you say it’s just a taste Come back one more time, I’ll blow your fucking mind Oh you chew me up like leather (leather) Leaving me so soft and weak I want to understand the weather (weather) between your ears, so I Can get between your knees
3.
So [intro] 00:41
Ahem, mmm, mmm… [scribbling noises] [ridiculous accent] Very well, Mr. Aelus, the last time we talked about your increasing infatuation with porpoises, and some sort of small fainting blue goat from Galbitamin, a planet in a universe you refer to as [pause to check notes] “imaginary.” Excellent. Very well. So, Mr. Aelus, what would you like to talk about today?
4.
You know, whatever, the weather, I tickle your nose with a feather I can make a cool bustle out of tin, gold, copper, and leather Use my raw animal magnetism to stick a dog and cat together, yeah I’ve got six hands so I can easily demonstrate When Sephora’s not looking I use her stockings to masticate When I roll on these heels I use marble-sized ball bearings When hangin’ out with me, priests and nuns start swearing I’m tired of everybody always telling me something’s wrong How can they deny, Aelus is da bomb I got nickel-lined trousers, just in case of radiation When we’re talking about porpoises, it’s like, pure infatuation And so what if they say I’m all inappropriate on a porpoise You know me, Gear-G, you know they can’t touch this! I’ve got steampunk eyeballs, separate light in seventy layers I’ve got eleventy-seven coats, though I’m not quite sure where So what if my mind is hazy sometimes all up in a fog You know this shit’s crazy, Aelus is da bomb Tick, tick, tick - Doc! Look what time it is – Marty! Get the plutonium, absinthe, and opium - Yeah, we’re gonna have a party I’ve got a date with a playmate in 1914 In an alternate reality with a view of Saturn’s rings So just sit tight, Sprocket, take a word from your master We hanging tight at Milliway’s drinking pan galactic gargle blasters And whilst I sit sipping, cold peepin’ the end of the verse I laughin’ to myself, ‘cause man I caused this shit first Yeah, I come equipped with criminy, for all you Jiminy Cricket bastards Spit in a cup, elope with a duck, use a dull spoon to shave my chest hair I’m a cannibalistic, relativistic, give me some lipstick and I’ll go ballistic Come-lately sniper, epic pied piper, you sleep on a bed, I sleep on a live bear! Yeah, there’s just no pointing fighting it, no you can’t last long Just take it like a Fremen - cool, quiet and strong And while you’re at it, gimme some spice, and put it a bong Each & every way you look at it, Aelus is da bomb Just in case you were wondering, bastards!
5.
She said her name was Elizabeth I don’t know for sure that it is But that's okay for now I've just got to, got to try to make her Feel so good somehow and look deep into her eyes Oh, I don't care what you think of me at all, I just do what I must do And I’ll just hope that it pleases who I’m with, because that’s my only wish She said her name was Jennifer I don’t know if it is or not But we don’t care about that sort of thing Look at all the trouble it’s gotten us That it’s got us Well, I don’t know and I don’t care to, it just don’t make a damn If you’re feeling under the weather, let me see if I can make you feel better Oh, make you feel better She walked in in this short white thing The most beautiful I’ve ever seen She said her name was Pamela I said hey la la la la la la I said, What can I do for you miss And she said, Sit back and enjoy this Alright, I will I don’t know and I don’t care to, it just don’t make a damn If you’re feeling under the weather, let me see if I can make you feel better Oh, make you feel better Let me see if I can make you feel the way that I do
6.
Forfeit 03:23
You said you would meet me behind the fair You said you would listen, though you didn’t care to hear I wouldn’t cheat you out on the truth I would be perfect, bring you the proof All the words I’ve raised, come a rain I want you I need you, oh, I bleed you And the price you say is fair You said you would rule with an iron fist, keeping your cool, You said you would tell me when I had done well You said you would beat me, put me through hell I could be perfect, you smile with a sneer All the sacrifice, with none brought back to life Voice shrill I warned you, oh I told you That the pain was just too much Under a moon I can see your eyes Reflecting the light, and underlying lies I was a fool, I can see it now The power you’d had was a prophecy of vows And despite your devilish feint, you’ve brought me up But not the way you’d like I taunt you I feed you, oh, I bleed you And the price is more than fair You said you would meet me in the deep beyond Now that I’ve set you there I’m not sure I’d want to come My soul is forfeit, yeah, you’ve seen to that A life lived in torture, a rapture painted all in black All the sacrifice, come together now
7.
This Game 01:36
Must we play this game You push all my buttons the wrong way Call me a fool, kiss me and run away If I didn’t know better I’d say you were fine Spend all my time trying to make you mine While you spend yours flying Must you treat me so? Surely by now you must know A girl can only give so much before she fades You’re treating my love like you’ve got it in spades I try so hard to make it clear I’ve got all you need right here I can see quite plainly, someone broke your heart But you can’t give up on me baby, before you even start Must it it be like this? Poor thing, to deny such bliss Just allow me the chance to bestow one kiss I can surely give you all you need
8.
“I love you in my way,” he says, and slaps her with the back of his hand “You with the way you’re treating me, oh, you’re lucky you ain’t dead.” Her shiner gleaming brightly now, she thinks about the truth in what he says Wears down and bites her pride, and gives him every bit of her soul She bears down, with every bit of her weight He only smiles and laughs, he never hesitates: “You don’t love me and I don’t need you here anymore” “It’s all a matter of opinion,” he says, “and the way you hold your head,” “And you with your hair combed like that, baby, don’t need to read minds to know what they’re thinkin’.” “And you know that, when they look at you, they look at me, and “And I simply won’t have them think of me that way.” She bears down, with every bit of her weight But he only smiles and laughs, he never hesitates: “You don’t love me and I don’t need you here,” “Baby, I need you to know I don’t need you here,” he says, “If you can’t take the weight go back from whence you came.” “And that’s alright-” she says. “Yeah, that’s alright,” she says, “I know your kind and I understand,” “You need someone timid like me to push around, make you feel like a man.” “Just so you know, I don’t need this abuse, and I won’t take it long, “Put your two bits in, and pack up your toothy grin, and get, get gone.” He bears down, with every bit of his hate She only shakes her fist and says: “Don’t you even hesitate. “You don’t need me, and I don’t love you here “Anymore.”
9.
She's got this metallic look in her eyes As though she were made of something different than you and I It's this edge that makes her different It's this edge that gets her into trouble and makes her feel so vulnerable When she gets down, hey There's nothing you or I can do, yeah I try so hard to take care of her and find she's taking care of me instead Now what do you say about that Still I find there's something unpredictable, she's got me on my toes Oh, she's got me on the edge of my seat When she gets down, hey There's nothing you or I can do, yeah She's got me under her spell, I'm readily admitting this now, ooh I don't need to be abused and I don't need amusement I only need her fantastic way to smile - She's so perfect, and it's so obvious But I don't know what I'm supposed to do Should I try to change her, can I even affect her I'm not sure that I fit in my own shoes When she gets down, hey There's nothing you and I can do, yeah
10.
The demon spits and walks away whenever T walks in The pastors cough and chat away about his many sins A mixer and a maker and a mod behind the scenes He makes a fool of those who think his methods are obscene He won't accept the detriment of those considered less And shuns the ladies aid brigade and their left-righteousness He leaves a trail behind him filled with flame and smoke and ash And when he leaves a calling card it spells out TEDDY BASH! He agitates the constables when he arrives in town With customary notices to clear out by sundown But he ignores their rhetoric till he gets his repast And leaves on many lady lips the taste of Teddy Bash Over this wide creation, he creates a sensation when he appears Thorngauge can't escape desecration, or inebriation, when the chemist is near The ladies love his intellect and post-hypnotic ways The gentlemen respect him for his bold and steely gaze With elixirs that'll fix ya from your head down to your gash The intoxicated toxicologist, his name is Teddy Bash Don Juan with a drink in hand, his name is Teddy Bash Drummer for the drink brigade, his name is TEDDY BASH!
11.
Pretty Song 03:57
I've been missing you Call upon the wind to carry my kisses to you Your silky skin is in my brain Crumbling my thoughts like a holy stain I've been missing you so long I Can't help but indulge myself In thoughts of you all night long And all the live long day through I've been missing you Pretty baby, do you still love me? Oh pretty baby, do you still love me? I've been missing you so long I Can't help but indulge myself In thoughts of you all night long And all the live long day through I've been missing you, you - Been missing you I've been missing you Call upon the wind to carry my kisses to you I've been missing you so long I Can't help but indulge myself In thoughts of you all night long And all the live long day through I've been missing you
12.
Feel 03:26
I had to go, I had, I had no other choice Things went bad, left a bad taste In my mouth I’ve been praying all night, all night long For something a little better Seems god’s tuned to another station He knows I’m stuck on that same old song and dance Please believe me when I say I care Even if the record doesn’t show it Trust me when I say I’ll be there Even if I’ve never been there See I’m going through hard times Paying for crimes I committed so long ago What I need now is some understanding Or maybe just somebody who understands me Oh, oh, la la la la la la Cover me in warm hemp blankets until I can no longer see the sun Make it cold and dark outside Could you do me, could you do me the favor Of reaching through, reaching to me so I can reach you Could you do me the favor of touching me so I know you love me Oh, I’ve been trying so hard Trying so hard I’ve been trying hard
13.
I go for a drive, but I don’t know what I’m doing (What the fuck I’m doing) Haphazardly moving my arms in a circle (What are you, stoned?) Actually, I’m sitting here at home all alone (It’s okay, it’s okay) Actually, actually, actually! I sit here at home, but I’m bored ‘cause there’s nothing to do (Dammit to hell!) Actually nothing to lay my hands on (What are you, blind?) Oh, literally, I’m sitting here inside a void (It’s okay, it’s okay) Literally, literally, literally! I wish I had someone to argue with ‘Cause I’m feeling so alone I might be boring, but I’m accurate ‘Cause besides me there’s no one else home! (Literally!) My lungs hurt and I can’t breathe (Literally!) ‘Cause there’s no air in space (Actually!) There’s air but none I can breathe (Literally!) The air gets sucked from my face - Am I alive, I wonder, ‘cause who knows? (Is there a god?) Actually, logic would dictate I’m dead (My body is gone!) Literally, I think I get the point now (Flashes of light! Flashes of light!) Literally, literally, literally!

credits

released October 1, 2018

The Extraordinary Contraptions are:
Alexander Stadler as Aelus Kristoff von Stadberg ~ Guitars, Vocals
David Tyberg as Dimitri von Stadberg ~ Upright and Electric Basses, Vocals
Sharon Burdick as Miss Sephora Bostwick ~ Keyboards, Synths, Accordion, Vocals
Tony Bush as Teodore Birchard AKA “Teddy Bash” ~ Drums, Percussion, Vocals

Art Team:
C. Zielinsky, Steampowered Mouse Productions ~ Graphics and Layout
Earl Skates, E-Z-AZ THAT Photography ~ Album Photography
Ken Lackner ~ Disc / Promotional Photography
Sparkle Brush by Obsidian Dawn

THANKS:
Sharon thanks David & my fellow Contraptions; Dwiv, Stephen, Aaron, Kevin, Stefanie, & Jana, the Sunday Knitters, & my piano teacher Kevin Bales. Plus my Cape of Awesome.

Tony thanks Holly, Elly, and Saralyn for time away to make the beats and clear up the deets.

Alex is grateful and offers thanks to his family, friends, and clients, who not only put up with his shenanigans, but who actually encourage it! THanks you guys!

David thanks Stefanie, Sharon, the Keepizens, The Brownie Brothel, and my fellow Contraptions for keeping me in the groove and out of distress.


All songs written, performed, recorded, engineered, and produced by The Extraordinary Contraptions.
Recorded at The Keep, Atlanta, GA, and at Aelus’ Asylum, Snellville, GA.
Mixed and mastered by Subterranean Unrestricted Productions and Recordings (S.U.P.A.R.) at Aelus’ Asylum. Final mastering by Spencer Crewe.

For booking and management inquiries: booking@theextraordinarycontraptions.com (321)ATL-XCON
Copyright © and ℗ 2018 by The Extraordinary Contraptions

Proper gentlepersons, interdimensional entities, and even sky pirates patronize the arts. Kindly refrain from unauthorized duplication of this work.

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The Extraordinary Contraptions Atlanta

Part lover's caress, part pugilist’s fist, songs of THE EXTRAORDINARY CONTRAPTIONS are sonic space-time adventures. This patent-medicine man, time-traveler, gentleman explorer, and madman advance the steampunk rock movement with 2012 album The Time Traveler's Constant, employing danceable prog rock and Victorian aesthetics in genre-bending, aggressive-waltzing stories of steam and strife. ... more

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